Midtown Manhattan in Early Spring
New York City - April 5, 2010 Vi and I went to New York City last Monday. It was her second of two follow-up visits at Sloan Kettering this year. Naturally, we brought our cameras along to take pictures.

I remember the day about a year ago when Vi's early morning operation had just ended. They had cracked her ribs open to rid her of cancer. I was told the surgery went well but I was not yet allowed into the recovery room. They will call me when she regained consciousness. It was around noon so I went out. After finishing a sandwich at a nearby restaurant, I crossed the street to a children's playground on 2nd Avenue. I thought the children's laughter who were just out from school with their nannies would be a way to calm my mind.

But it didn't. Instead, I worried that a lone man like me sitting in a park bench at a children's playground might look like a predator prowling on children. There were other grownups in the park -- some were office workers eating their lunches -- but still the feeling remained.

So there I was, my wife's life hanging on the balance and I was worrying I might be mistaken for a child molester.

I do not like recalling that day. I do not wish to remember being called into the recovery room later in the day all very excited to see Vi again and seeing her on the hospital bed with all the gizmos around her monitoring her heart rate, temperature, and other vitals. I remember the mild shock I felt upon seeing her fresh wound and the black thread that stitched her throat back up -- it was not covered at all. She was very sedated and said she was very hungry -- she hadn't eaten since the previous night -- but she was only allowed to sip on ice cubes. I stood beside her very stiffly as I didn't want to knock down any of the equipment holding the tubes that ran into her body. I hoped that my face registered the comfort that I knew she needed.

I do not wish for it to ever happen again. But I know in the distant future one way or another to either one of us it will. We're all headed that way eventually. And when that time comes, when we are the ones in need and our fears matter so greatly that our sanities flounder and turbulence within takes hold, we may count on our petty concerns that they will be there nudging us back into conscious reality and maybe even then remind us that things could have taken a different turn.

Click on a picture to enlarge. BACK TO: Home Gallery